Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb is a combination of self help, memoir, and essays. Lori is a writer and psychotherapist who dives headfirst into the topic of why am I forty and still single?

Although I can't completely relate to her experiences, I found this book intriguing and very eye opening. It made me think about my own experiences with online dating and trying to find a mate in my early twenties. I don't know if I can really write a book review that will do this book justice, so here are my 3 takeaways.

1. To me, the title feels negative. But it's not intended that way.

As a woman, the idea of settling for "Mr. Good Enough" has a negative feeling. It kind of makes it sound like at this point in your life, you'd be willing to marry anyone, just for the sake of being married.

But that's not what Lori's saying. The gist of this book is that sometimes women go into dating with the idea that their perfect match is going to check off every ideal characteristic they have on their list of what they look for in a partner. 

And that's just not realistic.

Nobody is perfect. You aren't, so why would you expect that of your partner? It just means that you have to be open minded when dating because sometimes you don't really know what works for you until you find it.

2.  It reminded me of my own online dating experiences

I'm not going to lie. When I was in my early twenties I was very eager to have a boyfriend, but I also wasn't willing to make any concessions with what I wanted. I went on a lot of first dates that didn't lead anywhere.. And as Lori explains in this book, that happens to a lot of women. They're so hesitant to go on a second date because of one or two things that they might have noticed about their date, that they aren't really giving their date a fair shot.

Man, this book came out the year I graduated from high school and I could have really used it back then. Haha. Even though I was focused on school and wasn't looking to get married at that time, it would have put a lot into perspective for me.

3. Lori's own personal experiences were very interesting.

As she explained early on in the book, she missed out on a couple of great guys because of ideas that she had in her mind about what her husband should be like. She then went on to have a son on her own and focus on work. Only to realize that she was in her forties and still single, wishing that she had a partner to share life with.

I found Lori's stories a bit infuriating because even though she did so much research, she was so stuck in her ways that it felt like she never gave anyone a fair shot. But as the book progressed and she developed, it was interesting to see her perspective on love and marriage change.

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I got this book for discount as a kindle ebook and I'm glad I read it. I heard Lori speak on a podcast a couple of years ago and so it was interesting to read some of her work. I'm in a happy and committed relationship so it's not like I'm currently dating or anything, but her stories and advice were still nice to hear! It's always important to evaluate your life and think about how your mindset can affect your happiness and relationships.

xo Marian